June 15, 2002

Thomas and I went to hang out at Robbie’s new apartment. Kind of like a house warming thing. The gifts being a 12 pack of beer and some valiums. He had another guy there. Thomas had met him a few times, but I didn’t know him. His name was Paul. We were all hanging out, and Paul got up to use the bathroom. I had to go to. I waited and waited. I couldn’t hold it anymore so I walked back to the bathroom to see what was taking him so long. I could see under the door that the light was on. I knocked. No answer. I twisted the knob, and it was unlocked so I went on in. It was empty. I sat down on the toilet to pee, and I heard a rustling in the closet. I jump up, pulled up my pants and snatched open the closet door that had been cracked slightly open. Paul was crouched down it there. “Sorry, I was just looking for a sack of weed. Robbie said it was in here,” he said to me and ran out of the bathroom. I wanted to tell Thomas, but I never found the opportunity. At some point, swerved out on pills and beer, I passed out in Robbie’s bed next to Thomas who was up against the wall. And then I woke up. My pants were pushed down, and hands were tugging down my panties. At first I thought Thomas woke up feeling frisky, but Thomas was a sleep beside me. Paul had gotten in bed behind me and was trying to fuck me while I was passed out. I jumped out of bed, hyperventilating. I ran to the bathroom shaking. I dug my nails in my palms trying to process what happened. What could have happened. Pissed off I ran back in the bedroom. Paul was on his back pretending to be asleep. My mind blanked in my rage, and I balled up my fist and brought it down on that perv’s face over and over. I split underneath his eye open, blood pouring from his face, but I didn’t stop. Thomas woke up freaking out. Robbie came running in the room. Thomas just stood there and did nothing while Robbie chased Paul out of his house and down the street. Thomas did nothing.

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