“One must have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.”
There is a powerful truth in these words of German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche, as chaos and creativity seem to go hand in hand. A dysfunctional necessity that can give birth to brilliance if even for a moment. Or perhaps it’s just the creator’s illusion of a moment of brilliance.
From somewhere in the depths of my most darkest times, those were the moments I created my best work…my best painting, my best poem, my best story. Frenzied colors on canvas or a successful string of words on paper were produced from the chaos within that I lacked control over. It was within the storm I found the inspiration, the need, the obsession to purge out something beautiful.
That chaos is now calmed by the magic properties found in a diamond blue pill, and that lightening spark of an idea, of instant inspiration to create, has been extinguished. What is left is the lull of a slow tide of ideas that lap up briefly and then withdraw, lacking any passion to pursue any further than the initial thought.
I miss the chaos…at times.
Days like today remind me of the birds. Remember watching the black birds? How they would land barely touching the ground with a tease and then up…up…dancing in flight. Swooping and diving, then away they would fly. I wanted to be the black bird.
Mellie is dying to tell her story. She’s dying to tell YOU her story.
Melanie Woodward has everything going for her- great life, loving husband, and two incredible kids. But Mellie is a tormented woman struggling to find reason in the madness of her past. After years of battling with her demons, she becomes convinced that she only has one option left- to write the story of what really happened. She has to confront what happened with Thomas Scalia.
Through old journal entries and writings she recounts a realm of hard hitting beats filled with shimmering candy kids in the underground rave scene, a descent into self-harm and drug addiction, and the escalating violence of her DJ boyfriend, Thomas. In writing her story, Mellie will find peace one way or another- through the pen or through the blade.
Mellie: A Story of Vinyl and Candy is a powerful and riveting novel that shines light on the dark side of the 1990s rave culture and party drugs, of love and music, of glitter and bruises, of survival and defeat.
“Where to begin…. this story is all about the power of addiction, in many many forms. It brought me back to my own past, and my struggles as a teenager. The power and addiction of drugs, and love and lust… and trust. Not many books are written from a teenagers point of view- and it really sets the tone and you really root for Mellie, who starts out as a good girl and through her experiences struggles at finding what “good” is as she follows her boyfriend into a world where she becomes lost, and helpless. The power of addiction comes in so many forms and you really see her struggle and then fight, only to give up again, thinking she is nothing without Him. His world consumes hers and you want to grab her and shake her and say You are better than this! I was caught up in finding out what happens while constantly cheering her on that she would find her backbone and realize she is stronger than she thinks and break free of this hold and life she has imprisoned herself with. I look forward to reading the sequel!”
“Love, love, love this book. Once started, I could not put it down!!! So much deep love…the devotion…the determination. Waiting to read the next book.”
“Powerful fast paced book. I learned a lot about a culture I knew nothing about. A must read.”