“One must have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.”
There is a powerful truth in these words of German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche, as chaos and creativity seem to go hand in hand. A dysfunctional necessity that can give birth to brilliance if even for a moment. Or perhaps it’s just the creator’s illusion of a moment of brilliance.
From somewhere in the depths of my most darkest times, those were the moments I created my best work…my best painting, my best poem, my best story. Frenzied colors on canvas or a successful string of words on paper were produced from the chaos within that I lacked control over. It was within the storm I found the inspiration, the need, the obsession to purge out something beautiful.
That chaos is now calmed by the magic properties found in a diamond blue pill, and that lightening spark of an idea, of instant inspiration to create, has been extinguished. What is left is the lull of a slow tide of ideas that lap up briefly and then withdraw, lacking any passion to pursue any further than the initial thought.
I miss the chaos…at times.